What once was will never be
"2020" We may never ever need to say that again. In a few days, we will be starting a new year. I'm so looking forward to it, but I hope I'm not the only one who can say that despite the challenges of 2020, I experienced the most growth both personally and emotionally than I have ever done throughout my 46 years. Let's dive right into it!
Maintaining what works - In the absence of being physically present, you can show and interact with love ones by answering when they need you, using Facetime, and reaching out through cards or texts. I remember when my son and I were doing a walkthrough of a house I was thinking about buying. He and I included my daughter by having her on Facetime. She was able to see what we saw and hear our thoughts about the house in real time. She also asked questions to the realtor. She was in a sense there. Yes, it was different, but it worked.
Promoting Self Love -I've had a lot of time to reflect during 2020. So many things happened that were beyond my control that I had to rediscover what at the end of the day makes me happy. Sitting down to a movie with a glass of wine, studying a different language, reading a book, treating myself to a bubble bath in the middle of the day, enjoying a walk on the beach, or even having a quiet moment of meditation were all ways I showed myself self love. When you try, you can make something beautiful from very little. For example, I began to mix lavender oil and shea butter with cane sugar, honey, and coconut oil to create an all-natural scrub. Along with warm water, my bath tub became an oasis for refreshing my soul and exfoliating my skin.
A few days ago, I overheard two people having a discussion. One was excited about celebrating Thanksgiving, but the other condemned the holiday. He spoke about how the first Thanksgiving supported colonization of our country and led to the suppression of Native Americans. Judging the views of others is not my job. I will never be the one to ignore history. I feel we should learn from it and find ways to make it better. What I will say is we must learn to build from what we have now. I was raised to see Thanksgiving as a coming together - A time to share your blessings and share love. My mom is not with us today, but she always started cooking on Wednesday night and stayed up until morning baking sweets and goodies to only get back up in an hour or so to start the main meal. I would sneak into the kitchen when she fell asleep and stuff my mouth with anything she would not notice was missing when she returned to her duty. The love of family is instilled in our blood because of how we were taught to celebrate and give thanks to God at Thanksgiving.
My favorite dessert at Thanksgiving is Jelly Cake. My mom would make it and pretend to not notice the missing slice I took before the dinner. She wouldn't say anything but smile. When she passed, my sister Voncille began baking it for me. She would make it with five thin layers and put lots of apple jelly in between each of them. I miss both my mom and sister and my other family members who have transitioned so much. My sister, Vina, then started baking jelly cakes for me. Vina's cake sometimes leaned or was a little crunchy around the edges, but it was so delicious because of the love she poured into it. This year, I'm going to attempt to make my own. I'm not good at baking cakes so my expectation is going to start at the bottom and hopefully I will surprise myself. Sometimes you have to let go of the norm to see what you are made of within. COVID has definitely brought on some challenges, but keep in mind, it will not last forever. Remember Thanksgiving is a blessing of love so no matter how your traditional dinner or gathering changes, let people know that you still love and are thinking of them. Have a beautiful safe holiday and many Blessings always. ~ Carla
Guess Who I'm dating
WHY I DATE MYSELF On Social Media
Many coaches and trainers start their sessions by asking, "Who is your target audience?" Well, I know who my target audience of one is. It is ME. It's like I'm dating myself. I want my posts to represent the best parts of ME, so that if I want to go and see how BLESSED my life has been... I just click on my profile. I don't have to wait for the Facebook algorithm to show me a positive post. My digital journal of self reflection is easily accessible, so I can review and reflect on how I will be better the next day or moment. Others can also access this love story and be encouraged to build their own.
I love dating myself. Just like the saying, you are what you eat! You should filter what you allow yourself to be reminded of about you. Keeping your living space positive will keep positive people around you. A person's character is defined by what they allow into their lives. If you want to see a person's true character, look at the people they are closest too. How do they treat their mom or siblings or kids? How do they interact with their friends? Where do they hang out? What do they do in their spare time? I'm loving all that about myself!
These are simple observations... A few months ago, I remember seeing a list of questions in a magazine that every woman should ask a guy when dating them. I laughed, because I don't want to interview anyone. All you need to do is look at their interactions on social media or ask who is the most important person in their lives or even talk about what they did today. You will know if a person has a growth mindset or if they are stuck in the mud.
Growth is something that occurs once your tolerance level breaks. If a person is tolerating a mediocre level, their life will reflect that. They cannot change how they live overnight. There will be some evidence of who they really are reflected in what they allow in their surroundings.
In dating myself, I've found that I'm totally awesome. My self-confidence is high, I'm not afraid to be ME, and best of all - I KNOW HOW TO ENCOURAGE MYSELF WHEN I'M DOWN. I like to eat. I live an active life. I love my kids and my dog! Each time I review my page, I'm reminded of the people and things I love most! My life has its ups and downs, but I know that my ups will be greater than my downs. I'm not a perfect person - I don't want to be. I just make sure that whatever life throws my way, I will become a better person because of it!
WOW! My last post was back in January! Has it really been 6 months? Time literally flies. Well, you are probably wondering why a blogger disappeared from the scene for six whole months. Sometimes you have to try a few different things and work on yourself. During my "timeout" from blogging, I have realized three things in becoming the Best Me I can be. I hope they help you become the BEST YOU!
1. Give others space to grow.
2. Do not procrastinate.
3. Know your worth.
NOTE: All Clothing in this blog can be found on www.bestyoubyhts.com
#1 As a MOM - give your children space to grow.
#2 As a professional - do not procrastinate.
It was difficult coming back from my February vacation. I had tons of work to do to get caught up, but my mind and body were still in vacation mode. I became the ultimate procrastinator. If you know me, I like to get my work done by front loading my week so my Thursdays and Fridays can be low-scale chill days. Well, I fell off that bandwagon. I procrastinated most of the week and was working up to 8PM on Fridays to finish what I should have done already. It was stressful. I lost productivity in my week and sometimes had to work on the weekend to make it up. I fell like I was working all the time, but my workload was the same. As soon as I started managing my procrastination, I found time to work out and enjoy life. My week became less stressful and I wasn't working on weekends. To overcome procrastination, I created both a daily and weekly to-do list. For larger tasks, I spread them out over three days so I could get other things done. Planning was the key to healing me of my procrastination habit.
#3 As A woman - know your worth.
So this is my comeback to blogging. I'm so excited for the opportunity to share with you over the next few months some of the really cool things I have been working on. As always, keep working on being your Best YOU and I will too! STAY SAFE and be Blessed! ~ Carla
A new chapter begins
Love is patient, love is kind... I was married for 21 years. The journey to separating 10/13/2019 and finalizing our divorce 11/12/2019 was an easy one. I’m a praying woman. I’m a reasonable woman. I was a good wife.
Ladies, who you are is not based on what you want to happen but it is based on what you need to happen. When you love someone 100% and they reciprocate less, you do not have balance. Balance is what makes love strong and it makes love enduring. I did not pray to the Lord to save my marriage, because he had already revealed to me that it was broken. I prayed to the Lord for the strength to let go... He gave that to me. I prayed to the Lord for peace... He gave that to me. I prayed to the Lord for my adult children to understand and know they are loved by both parents... He gave that to me. I prayed to the Lord for my ex-husband to be happy...He gave me peace that he is okay.
I thank God for everything I have learned in this chapter in my life. I cherish every experience and every memory. I am ready for what God has in mind for my future. I know I am prepared to embrace it. And now my next chapter begins...
back to School 2019
school shopping with ease!
Parents and teachers have a lot to prepare for as they get ready for the back-to-school season.
Luckily, I'm no longer involved in the back-to-school supply rush, but it does not mean that I have less respect for the moms and dads carrying the supply list around the stores trying to find the wide-rule paper instead of college-rule. Remembering my frantic search for the 3-inch mat for nap time, I am grateful that we are not in 2005 anymore. School shopping in 2019 should be a piece of cake. To top it off, stores now have same-day pick-up and next-day delivery.
Why go to the store?
This is a valid question. If you are dying for social frustration and love racing for that last 24-pack of crayons, you should go to the store for your school shopping. What about those parents that forget to take the supply list with them? YIKES! Well, I'm the type that will shop from my iphone while chilling on a poolside lounge chair sipping an icy, sweet drink. Some people start browsing stores weeks before the deadline just to snag those popular items. With online shopping, you could continue the vacation up until the day before school starts and still have the backpacks ready.
What was the craziest item you ever encountered on a school supply list?
Teaching is a tough job. You have to be prepared for just about everything, but seriously, some of these supply lists are extreme. I recall one with a first aid kit. Imagine if all twenty students showed up with a kit each. You would need to rent a storage unit or maybe each student could have their own nursing station. I understand that teachers have fixed budgets so I did not
mind sending in the facial tissue and good paper towels. I can imagine that they must use a lot of those in a school year and have you ever tried wiping something up with those school paper towels? Literally, 50% or more of the liquid rolls off them and back on to the floor - a teaspoon of liquid could saturate a whole roll (Only a tiny bit of exaggeration here).
Well, I believe I have made my point. Save gas, save time, and save energy by doing your school shopping online from anywhere around the world.
Read, shop, and giggle a little. - Carla