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GoodBye 2020

12/28/2020

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What once was will never be

"2020" We may never ever need to say that again. In a few days, we will be starting a new year. I'm so looking forward to it, but I hope I'm not the only one who can say that despite the challenges of 2020, I experienced the most growth both personally and emotionally than I have ever done throughout my 46 years. Let's dive right into it!
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Here's my going-into-2020 family photo. One year ago, I was newly divorced with new dog and two amazing adult children. I was focused on starting a new life and my independence - I was tightening my boots for an exciting era of growing my work life and my business, bringing stability to my family, and possibly entering the dating scene. To be honest, it was a little scary and delightful at the same time. My new normal was ready to emerge into something wonderful, then the pandemic hit. 
My first thought was that nothing really would change. I was working from home for the last 12 years, so I was accustomed to being at home most of the time and what's a little mask wearing going to do. 
Well, the challenges started to roll in. First, I was starting a new relationship with an amazing man, and as we were just getting to know each other, there was a statewide mandate to stay at home. Additionally, my daughter was in college in an area deemed as a hot spot for its growing rate of viral cases. Each time my son left for work, I was very worried about the risks he faced too. My hopes for an amazing year began to crumble.  I was Blessed to still have steady income, but the unforeseen challenges began to pile a mile high.  I couldn't do events with my clothing business which was the majority of its income source. I couldn't visit my friends and family like I wanted to. I couldn't even find toilet paper and it was running low!
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Then the voice in my head said the most important words I needed to hear, "Stop focusing on what you don't have and focus on what you do!"  Pushing out the negative thoughts led to a movement inside me to focus on positivity.  I made my glass half full instead of seeing it as half empty.
Seeking positivity allowed me to have more creative thoughts. Challenges began to generate opportunities.  I began to focus on my needs and how I was going to stop worrying and do more praying. Building stronger relationships with God and self was the goal. 
These challenges are temporary and what once was will never be again. Even if history starts to repeat itself, I'm stronger and different from my 2020 self. ​So how do you make it through a global pandemic and say you are better than before it started? I discovered three things:  Maintaining what works, Trying new things, and Promoting Self Love.
Maintaining what works - In the absence of being physically present, you can show and interact with love ones by answering when they need you, using Facetime, and reaching out through cards or texts. I remember when my son and I were doing a walkthrough of a house I was thinking about buying.  He and I included my daughter by having her on Facetime. She was able to see what we saw and hear our thoughts about the house in real time. She also asked questions to the realtor. She was in a sense there. Yes, it was different, but it worked. 
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Trying something new -Another challenge was the lack of social interaction. I'm an outgoing person. I imagined myself visiting museums, going on vacations, enjoying new restaurants and attending festivals and concerts especially with my new guy. Unfortunately, a lot of the activities were canceled. Luckily, I  could still go on walks with my dog, spend the day at the beach, and learn new things too. One new skill I wanted to master was baking cakes. I could never make the layers the same size or make it stand up straight. With the pandemic encouraging me to stay home, I started practicing with my favorite, the jelly cake. All of my baking challenges were just opportunities to build my strength in trying. Growth often occurs from failure.
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Promoting Self Love -I've had a lot of time to reflect during 2020.  So many things happened that were beyond my control that I had to rediscover what at the end of the day makes me happy.  Sitting down to a movie with a glass of wine, studying a different language, reading a book, treating myself to a bubble bath in the middle of the day, enjoying a walk on the beach, or even having a quiet moment of meditation were all ways I showed myself self love.  When you try, you can make something beautiful from very little. For example, I began to mix lavender oil and shea butter with cane sugar, honey, and coconut oil to create an all-natural scrub. Along with warm water, my bath tub became an oasis for refreshing my soul and exfoliating my skin. 

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What once was SHOULD NEVER be again... The most important thing I gained from 2020 is that despite whatever hardships I will ever face, I possess everything already inside me to overcome them.  I am a warrior, I am a fighter, I am a lover, I am a protector, and most of all... I AM ENOUGH!
May all new experiences brighten our present and tomorrow. Happy New Year to you and your family!
Many Blessings to All in 2021!
​Wishing you all the love - Carla
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Thanksgiving 2020

11/24/2020

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Thanksgiving is such a beautiful holiday for my family. We usually meet up and do a reunion-style gathering. Loved ones I haven't seen all year bring the tastiest foods to enjoy. Lots of love, hugs, and laughter fill the air. 
I'm going to miss them so much. This year because of COVID, it will be a small gathering - my son, my daughter, myself, and our fur babies, of course.  I will be the one cooking and baking. My daughter has offered to help, but she likes to eat more than cook.  Regardless of the smaller crowd, I am so thankful to give love and be loved.
A few days ago, I overheard two people having a discussion. One was excited about celebrating Thanksgiving, but the other condemned the holiday.  He spoke about how the first Thanksgiving supported colonization of our country and led to the suppression of Native Americans. Judging the views  of others is not my job.  I will never be the one to ignore history. I feel we should learn from it and find ways to make it better. What I will say is we must learn to build from what we have now.  I was raised to see Thanksgiving as a coming together - A time to share your blessings and share love. My mom is not with us today, but she always started cooking on Wednesday night and stayed up until morning baking sweets and goodies to only get back up in an hour or so to start the main meal.  I would sneak into the kitchen when she fell asleep and stuff my mouth with anything she would not notice was missing when she returned to her duty. The love of family is instilled in our blood because of how we were taught to celebrate and give thanks to God at Thanksgiving. 
My favorite dessert at Thanksgiving is Jelly Cake. My mom would make it and pretend to not notice the missing slice I took before the dinner. She wouldn't say anything but smile. When she passed, my sister Voncille began baking it for me. She would make it with five thin layers and put lots of apple jelly in between each of them.  I miss both my mom and sister and my other family members who have transitioned so much. My sister, Vina, then started baking jelly cakes for me. Vina's cake sometimes leaned or was a little crunchy around the edges, but it was so delicious because of the love she poured into it. This year, I'm going to attempt to make my own. I'm not good at baking cakes so my expectation is going to start at the bottom and hopefully I will surprise myself. Sometimes you have to let go of the norm to see what you are made of within. COVID has definitely brought on some challenges, but keep in mind, it will not last forever. Remember Thanksgiving is a blessing of love so no matter how your traditional dinner or gathering changes, let people know that you still love and are thinking of them. Have a beautiful safe holiday and many Blessings always. ~ Carla
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Guess Who I'm dating

7/9/2020

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WHY I DATE MYSELF On Social Media

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Many coaches and trainers start their sessions by asking, "Who is your target audience?" Well, I know who my target audience of one is.  It is ME.  It's like I'm dating myself.  I want my posts to represent the best parts of ME, so that if I want to go and see how BLESSED my life has been... I just click on my profile. I don't have to wait for the Facebook algorithm to show me a positive post.  My digital journal of self reflection  is easily accessible, so I can review and reflect on how I will be better the next day or moment. Others can also access this love story and be encouraged to build their own. 

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I love dating myself.  Just like the saying, you are what you eat! You should filter what you allow yourself to be reminded of about you.  Keeping your living space positive will keep positive people around you. A person's character is defined by what they allow into their lives. If you want to see a person's true character, look at the people they are closest too.  How do they treat their mom or siblings or kids?  How do they interact with their friends?  Where do they hang out?  What do they do in their spare time? I'm loving all that about myself!


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These are simple observations... A few months ago, I remember seeing a list of questions in a magazine that every woman should ask a guy when dating them.  I laughed, because I don't want to interview anyone.  All you need to do is look at their interactions on social media or ask who is the most important person in their lives or even talk about what they did today.  You will know if a person has a growth mindset or if they are stuck in the mud.  

Growth is something that occurs once your tolerance level breaks.  If a person is tolerating a mediocre level, their life will reflect that.  They cannot change how they live overnight.  There will be some evidence of who they really are reflected in what they allow in their surroundings.  ​
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​In dating myself, I've found that I'm totally awesome.  My self-confidence is high, I'm not afraid to be ME, and best of all - I KNOW HOW TO ENCOURAGE MYSELF WHEN I'M DOWN.  I like to eat. I live an active life.  I love my kids and my dog! Each time I review my page, I'm reminded of the people and things I love most!  My life has its ups and downs, but I know that my ups will be greater than my downs.  I'm not a perfect person - I don't want to be.  I just make sure that whatever life throws my way, I will become a better person because of it! ​​

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Six Months!

7/5/2020

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WOW! My last post was back in January! Has it really been 6 months?  Time literally flies. Well, you are probably wondering why a blogger disappeared from the scene for six whole months.  Sometimes you have to try a few different things and work on yourself.  During my "timeout" from blogging, I have realized three things in becoming the Best Me I can be.  I hope they help you become the BEST YOU!
1. Give others space to grow.
2. Do not procrastinate.
3. Know your worth.

NOTE: All Clothing in this blog can be found on www.bestyoubyhts.com

#1 As a MOM - give your children space to grow.

Being a mom is not easy. I am one of those moms who was determined to help my kids. You see, my mom was totally amazing, but I would get so frustrated when I would ask her to tell me what to do, and she said, "you will figure it out".  I realized that she would never tell me so I figured it out. During the younger years, I tried to help my kids in rebellion of what my mom did. Now that they are adults, I have found that I'm much like my mom. She was a very wise woman indeed! When I let go of trying to play Ms. Fix-It, my adult children were given the opportunity to growth as the awesome adults they are. They literally gained their wings. Being a mom is so easy for me now, because they have stepped up to the plate and are embracing adulthood most amazingly. 
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#2 As a professional - do not procrastinate.

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It was difficult coming back from my February vacation. I had tons of work to do to get caught up, but my mind and body were still in vacation mode. I became the ultimate procrastinator.  If you know me, I like to get my work done by front loading my week so my Thursdays and Fridays can be low-scale chill days. Well, I fell off that bandwagon. I procrastinated most of the week and was working up to 8PM on Fridays to finish what I should have done already.  It was stressful. I lost productivity in my week and sometimes had to work on the weekend to make it up.  I fell like I was working all the time, but my workload was the same.  As soon as I started managing my procrastination, I found time to work out and enjoy life.   My week became less stressful and I wasn't working on weekends. To overcome procrastination, I created both a daily and weekly to-do list. For larger tasks, I spread them out over three days so I could get other things done.  Planning was the key to healing me of my procrastination habit. 

#3 As A woman - know your worth.

I've always been a confident woman, but I tend to have a lot of empathy for others.  This empathy allowed me to tolerate a little more than I should have in relationships.  What I've found over the last few months is that I have been very wrong.  Your worth is not about how you treat others.  Your worth is all about how you love and value yourself. You can be confident but still have to work on realizing your self-worth.  Self-worth is defined by both your potential and who you are.   Only you can set that value. When you know who you are and set the expectation to be treated accordingly, you know your worth. Over the last few months, I have been working on my "value".  I have re-evaluated my goals for myself and my relationships. I'm so proud of the progress I have made and will continue to make. 
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​So this is my comeback to blogging. I'm so excited for the opportunity to share with you over the next few months some of the really cool things I have been working on. As always, keep working on being your Best YOU and I will too! STAY SAFE and be Blessed! ~ Carla

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A new chapter begins

11/19/2019

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Love is patient, love is kind... I was married for 21 years. The journey to separating 10/13/2019 and finalizing our divorce 11/12/2019 was an easy one. I’m a praying woman. I’m a reasonable woman. I was a good wife.
Ladies, who you are is not based on what you want to happen but it is based on what you need to happen. When you love someone 100% and they reciprocate less, you do not have balance. Balance is what makes love strong and it makes love enduring. I did not pray to the Lord to save my marriage, because he had already revealed to me that it was broken. I prayed to the Lord for the strength to let go... He gave that to me. I prayed to the Lord for peace... He gave that to me. I prayed to the Lord for my adult children to understand and know they are loved by both parents... He gave that to me. I prayed to the Lord for my ex-husband to be happy...He gave me peace that he is okay.
I thank God for everything I have learned in this chapter in my life. I cherish every experience and every memory. I am ready for what God has in mind for my future. I know I am prepared to embrace it. And now my next chapter begins...
Women empowerment after divorce
Dress from www.bestyoubyhts.com
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back to School 2019

7/10/2019

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school shopping with ease!

Parents and teachers have a lot to prepare for as they get ready for the back-to-school season.
Luckily, I'm no longer involved in the back-to-school supply rush, but it does not mean that I have less respect for the moms and dads carrying the supply list around the stores trying to find the wide-rule paper instead of college-rule.  Remembering my frantic search for the 3-inch mat for nap time, I am grateful that we are not in 2005 anymore.  School shopping in 2019 should be a piece of cake. To top it off, stores now have same-day pick-up and next-day delivery.
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​Why go to the store?
This is a valid question. If you are dying for social frustration and love racing for that last 24-pack of crayons, you should go to the store for your school shopping.  What about those parents that forget to take the supply list with them? YIKES! Well, I'm the type that will shop from my iphone while chilling on a poolside lounge chair sipping an icy, sweet drink.  Some people start browsing stores weeks before the deadline just to snag those popular items. With online shopping, you could continue the vacation up until the day before school starts and still have the backpacks ready.
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​What was the craziest item you ever encountered on a school supply list?
Teaching is a tough job.  You have to be prepared for just about everything, but seriously, some of these supply lists are extreme. I recall one with a first aid kit.  Imagine if all twenty students showed up with a kit each. You would need to rent a storage unit or maybe each student could have their own nursing station. ​​I understand that teachers have fixed budgets so I did not 

mind sending in the facial tissue and good paper towels. I can imagine that they must use a lot of those in a school year and have you ever tried wiping something up with those school paper towels? Literally, 50% or more of the liquid rolls off them and back on to the floor - a teaspoon of liquid could saturate a whole roll (Only a tiny bit of exaggeration here). 
Well, I believe I have made my point. Save gas, save time, and save energy by doing your school shopping online from anywhere around the world. 

Read, shop, and giggle a little. - Carla
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    Hello There!
    I'm Carla - mother, educator, business owner, and Certified Life Coach. I have a blast exploring new ideas, products, and services.  I love to share and hope to inspire you to do the same. Remember to enjoy life every day and always strive to be a BETTER YOU!

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