your environment matters
I've spent my whole life thinking of others and mostly, putting others' needs before my own. It was part of my upbringing, the culture of what I was learned to do. Don't get me wrong, taking care of others is not a curse; it is, in fact, rewarding on many levels. It is still instilled in me, but that priority has changed.
In 2016, I started my metamorphosis. It was not on purpose. I've always desired to own my own business, but I knew I could not afford to support my family if I quit my main job. Instead, I started growing my business on weekends and late nights. Many people will call it a "side hustle"; I now call it my expansion period. Having the ability to change your work habits to gain what you need in order to grow is HUGE!
WHY I DATE MYSELF On Social Media
Many coaches and trainers start their sessions by asking, "Who is your target audience?" Well, I know who my target audience of one is. It is ME. It's like I'm dating myself. I want my posts to represent the best parts of ME, so that if I want to go and see how BLESSED my life has been... I just click on my profile. I don't have to wait for the Facebook algorithm to show me a positive post. My digital journal of self reflection is easily accessible, so I can review and reflect on how I will be better the next day or moment. Others can also access this love story and be encouraged to build their own.
I love dating myself. Just like the saying, you are what you eat! You should filter what you allow yourself to be reminded of about you. Keeping your living space positive will keep positive people around you. A person's character is defined by what they allow into their lives. If you want to see a person's true character, look at the people they are closest too. How do they treat their mom or siblings or kids? How do they interact with their friends? Where do they hang out? What do they do in their spare time? I'm loving all that about myself!
These are simple observations... A few months ago, I remember seeing a list of questions in a magazine that every woman should ask a guy when dating them. I laughed, because I don't want to interview anyone. All you need to do is look at their interactions on social media or ask who is the most important person in their lives or even talk about what they did today. You will know if a person has a growth mindset or if they are stuck in the mud.
Growth is something that occurs once your tolerance level breaks. If a person is tolerating a mediocre level, their life will reflect that. They cannot change how they live overnight. There will be some evidence of who they really are reflected in what they allow in their surroundings.
In dating myself, I've found that I'm totally awesome. My self-confidence is high, I'm not afraid to be ME, and best of all - I KNOW HOW TO ENCOURAGE MYSELF WHEN I'M DOWN. I like to eat. I live an active life. I love my kids and my dog! Each time I review my page, I'm reminded of the people and things I love most! My life has its ups and downs, but I know that my ups will be greater than my downs. I'm not a perfect person - I don't want to be. I just make sure that whatever life throws my way, I will become a better person because of it!
WOW! My last post was back in January! Has it really been 6 months? Time literally flies. Well, you are probably wondering why a blogger disappeared from the scene for six whole months. Sometimes you have to try a few different things and work on yourself. During my "timeout" from blogging, I have realized three things in becoming the Best Me I can be. I hope they help you become the BEST YOU!
1. Give others space to grow.
2. Do not procrastinate.
3. Know your worth.
NOTE: All Clothing in this blog can be found on www.bestyoubyhts.com
#1 As a MOM - give your children space to grow.
#2 As a professional - do not procrastinate.
It was difficult coming back from my February vacation. I had tons of work to do to get caught up, but my mind and body were still in vacation mode. I became the ultimate procrastinator. If you know me, I like to get my work done by front loading my week so my Thursdays and Fridays can be low-scale chill days. Well, I fell off that bandwagon. I procrastinated most of the week and was working up to 8PM on Fridays to finish what I should have done already. It was stressful. I lost productivity in my week and sometimes had to work on the weekend to make it up. I fell like I was working all the time, but my workload was the same. As soon as I started managing my procrastination, I found time to work out and enjoy life. My week became less stressful and I wasn't working on weekends. To overcome procrastination, I created both a daily and weekly to-do list. For larger tasks, I spread them out over three days so I could get other things done. Planning was the key to healing me of my procrastination habit.
#3 As A woman - know your worth.
So this is my comeback to blogging. I'm so excited for the opportunity to share with you over the next few months some of the really cool things I have been working on. As always, keep working on being your Best YOU and I will too! STAY SAFE and be Blessed! ~ Carla
Love is patient, love is kind... I was married for 21 years. The journey to separating 10/13/2019 and finalizing our divorce 11/12/2019 was an easy one. I’m a praying woman. I’m a reasonable woman. I was a good wife.
Ladies, who you are is not based on what you want to happen but it is based on what you need to happen. When you love someone 100% and they reciprocate less, you do not have balance. Balance is what makes love strong and it makes love enduring. I did not pray to the Lord to save my marriage, because he had already revealed to me that it was broken. I prayed to the Lord for the strength to let go... He gave that to me. I prayed to the Lord for peace... He gave that to me. I prayed to the Lord for my adult children to understand and know they are loved by both parents... He gave that to me. I prayed to the Lord for my ex-husband to be happy...He gave me peace that he is okay.
I thank God for everything I have learned in this chapter in my life. I cherish every experience and every memory. I am ready for what God has in mind for my future. I know I am prepared to embrace it. And now my next chapter begins...
Before you search the Internet...
Recently, I noticed I was having some strange medical symptoms. I am a strong believer that if something seems not right, you should have it checked out. I also have to admit that I have problems with patience which tend to exacerbate other feelings like worry and anxiety. I am a work in progress... In short, the week-long wait before my doctor’s appointment seemed like an eternity. I had to take action...
After returning home from my morning walk, I headed to the shower. It was like any other day. The hot water flowed down my face like a stream would follow its path down a mountain side. I grabbed my shampoo off the shower shelf and gently began to stroke and massage my scalp. I was thinking about all the things on my to-do list for that day and enjoying my last minutes of relaxation before the rush began. I leaned back slightly to rinse my hair. Suddenly, I heard “bloop, bloop, bloop”. I looked down and near my feet were three handfuls of hair. They sat like boulders on the shower floor. The water's flow was too weak to overcome their mass and push them to the drain. I quickly grabbed my towel and stepped over to the sink. I used my fingers to search for the source, but my brittle strands wrapped around them like vines. My hands were covered in more hair. Instantly I thought I needed to call to make an appointment. This amount of hair loss was nothing similar to what a normal person would lose in a day, week, or month. I explained that nothing changed since my last visit... same vitamins, same everything... what could have caused this problem. The first available doctor’s appointment was a week away... I yelled, “I’ll take it”.
Searching for Answers
I laid the phone down and was disappointed that they could not see me the same day. Do they not care how upset I am... how scared I am... what about my family history? When you have lost people close to you, all those feelings begin to resurface. If they were not going to treat this as a medical emergency, then I will work on it myself until that appointment gets here.
Where’s my IPad? Google search: sudden hair loss... then self diagnosis based on the results... Anemia? Cancer? Lupus? Diabetes? Numerous autoimmune diseases? I did not like any of those answers, but what did I think I would find? I wanted to find something on the Internet that said, “”Carla, you are ok.” That did not happen. Let me start calling my "human resources" — My sister and niece are nurse practitioners... neither were home. My husband was at work...no answer. Several friends...did not pick up. Oh Lord, what can I do? Finally, I got some common sense.
All the searching for answers and feeling all alone during the discovery ended when I asked the one question that I should have asked before the Google search. I wasted nearly half of my day looking for answers instead of leaning on God. “Lord, will you please help me?” When I started to pray, I felt a calm starting to cover me. I prayed for the Lord to guide my thoughts and mind. I prayed for fear to leave and for patience to take over for the days to come. It was not easy for the next few days when each time I brushed my hair I was reminded of the monstrous possibilities that could be brewing. What I realize now is that with each day of prayer, there was less and less hair in my brush. By the time my appointment came around, my hair loss had declined significantly. They sent me for several tests over the next month. I wore my hair out embracing my natural curl patterns trying to prevent more loss. In all this, prayer was making me more confident. In the end, my doctor did not find anything in my blood work or in the test results that could have led to hair loss. It was categorized as stress-related, but I learned an invaluable lesson. Never will I rely on Google for answers to things only God can resolve. Always rely on your Faith first and foremost. God will help guide your way through tough times and even the good ones. Pray everyday.
Feel free to comment, share, and like to support my blog. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. — Carla
Check out plus-size printed dresses at www.bestyoubyhts.com and the Believe Beyond Boundaries journal at www.grownfolkmotto.com to support small businesses.
Being your Best You isn't Always Easy
I could not count the number of times I've said, "Be yourself." I often advise people to be natural when facing difficult situations. In reality, sometimes situations dictate more action than our normal selves would provide. As part of life, we cannot predict what is going to happen today or tomorrow. We are all hoping and praying for the best each day. It is inevitable that something is going to happen to throw you off your "good day" game.
What's Your Mindset Strategy?
You cannot prepare for everything, but you can have a plan for success no matter the circumstance. From my experiences, I have created a recipe for success in any situation. There are three ingredients that create the "success" pie. I will identify and explain them below. It is all about your mindset. Mindset is defined by google.com as "the established set of attitudes held by someone". What is your attitude? Is it a winning one? Your purpose on this earth is to be valuable to life. No one is here to be insignificant. You have to value your potential and strive to make the most of everyday. Here are my keys to success, the blueprint of being the best you.
Recipe for Success Ingredients
As promised, I have stated that the recipe for success has three ingredients. They are:
Being fully motivated takes time and attention. One does not wake up and give every drop of their energy to improve themselves or their situation. You cannot expect that from others or from yourself off the bat. What you can do is give everything your best shot. I'm sure you will not disagree with me that being motivated can be hindered by not understanding the purpose or outcome. Let's start with believing that you can make a difference and turn things around. Giving 100% to your marriage, your kids, or your job is not a goal but a must. Fully motivated means that you are not going to quit until you have exhausted every safe route to success. Setting the example usually cause other things and people to get on board. Before you know it, you will have a team working toward your goal with the highest level of proficiency.
Notice I said, "50% Crazy". Having common sense is a must at all times, but sometimes your reasoning can hold you back. Someone once said to me that success takes sacrifice. If you are not willing to take risks, then you may be holding yourself back. Walking a straight line leads you straight to a destination. That destination may not be the best, but you do get somewhere. Even to cross a mountain you have to go up and then down. Take a risk. Don't be afraid to go the extra mile to get what you want. I was talking to a friend just the other day. She spoke about how difficult it is to date in 2019. I suggested online dating. She looked at me as if I asked her to run 30 miles barefoot. It took a while but I explained that you cannot overcome stubborn barriers with traditional means. There is a way to date online safely, just as there is a way to lose weight by not exercising. You just have to have a plan and stick to that plan, but be a little crazy.
Ain't No Place for Negativity
ZERO NEGATIVITY... I met a lady last weekend who was so inspiring. She said some really positive things about me and my business. She was so encouraging to me, but when she started to talk about herself, it was a totally different story. She said that she always wanted to start a business making baskets but only ended up creating them as gifts for family and friends. She went on to say that she really enjoyed it but thought that if she would make them for a business, it would take away that enjoyment. I could feel her regret. Her smile faded.
The first point I want to make is that you cannot just be an inspiration to those around you. What you say and feel about yourself are so important to your success and health. It is not okay to put yourself down. You are your biggest fan. Self-negativity is a vicious disease that will eat away at you until there is nothing left. When you commit to being a positive person, your view of life changes. You start to see open doors instead of closed ones. On barriers where there seem to be no weaknesses, light begin to shine through. It is all about your mindset for success and being positive is a must!
A Mindset for Success
Here is a recap:
*Motivate yourself! Go for it! Set a goal and work to achieve it! Success is not optional! Be a go-getter!
*Try it! As long as you are safe, try something new! Get a little crazy! Think outside the box! Every problem has a solution.
*Stop Negativity in its tracks. There is no place for negativity in your life. Squash it!
As always, thank you for reading. I hope you have found some truth and motivation in my blog post. Feel free to comment below. Also, check out all the plus size styles in this post at www.bestyoubyhts.com. Best You Clothing will have you looking and feeling great in their cute, curvy, and comfortable styles. Best You has clothing for women in sizes small to 5XL. Use code BEST15 to save 15% off your order. This blog contains affiliate links.